


Wounded

by ATongueTiedWriter



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/F, Hurt Alicia AU, Hurt/Comfort, If anything it would evolve into an Alicia/Ofelia relationship later, To clarify this is NOT a Strand and Alicia relationship fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-09 03:32:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7785067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ATongueTiedWriter/pseuds/ATongueTiedWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Strand is the first to notice something is wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Alicia doesn’t notice until after they’ve made it safely back to camp. It’s been two weeks since the ranch home. Two weeks since a fire destroyed their safe haven. Two weeks since Chris and Travis never came back.

Two weeks of her mother leading a search for Nick after he walked away again.

They had gone on a supply run. Alicia has been out on a few now, her mother letting her help out more now that Nick and Daniel are gone. This time though, things didn’t go as planned and they needed to make a quick exit. So it’s not until they’re back at their temporary camp that Alicia notices the long, deep cut just under her shoulder blade on her side.

She doesn’t even remember how she got it. And it’s not that she wants to hide it, but honestly, what does it matter? Maddie hasn’t paid any attention to this stuff after Alicia’s first successful run, not when they’re getting closer to finding Nick and had picked up his trail a few days ago. There are more important things going on.

She knows it wasn’t an infected, none had come close to touching her, so she cleans it with water and leaves it alone. Doesn’t tell anyone because can handle this on her own. She won’t be a burden.

Except the wound gets worse. It doesn’t heal, and it starts to get tender. She can’t wear her bra because it irritates the cut too badly. She makes the excuse her bra ripped and moved on.

She gets fevers, blames it on the sun.  Starts sweating and blames it on the pace, the heat.  Nobody notices anything really until they are pushing the truck in neutral to save gas and Alicia nearly falls over. But she blames the sun again, gets some water, and they continue on as Maddie berates Alicia over lost time.

After that, Strand is the first to notice something is wrong.

Alicia had never been the most talkative of the group, but there was always an air about her. An awareness that’s overlooked in favor of a snarky attitude and well timed eye rolls.

When he tries to tell Madison she brushes it off. Tells him Alicia is just dramatic, she always has been, and that she’s probably pissed her phone finally died.

‘It will pass,’ Maddie says. ‘She gets in her moods and then something else catches her attention. It’s fine.’

Strand wants to push. This feeling in his gut, twisting and nagging to say something more…but it’s not his place. He is not Alicia’s father, he is not family. Hell, he’s only known Alicia for a couple of months. If Maddie says it’s fine, who is he to question her?

It’s not fine.

A week later they’ve stopped for rest. It’s a relatively safe area, flat for miles around so nothing living or dead can sneak up on them. Maddie has gone on a supply run with Ofelia looking for gas and water. Strand and Alicia stay in the truck, him keeping watch while Alicia lays in the passenger seat, seat laid back and feet propped up on the dashboard.

Strand thinks she’s sleeping. She hasn’t moved in over an hour, not even to move out of the sun. But when he looks over Alicia is just…she’s staring up at the ceiling. Her eyes unfocused.

Strand thinks it’s the heat at first. It makes the most sense. They’re in Mexico, in the height of summer. He knows she’s use to SoCal heat but Mexico…he knows those first summers are hard.

He checks their water and they’re low, not surprising considering the need for the supply run, but they have enough to give her some now without suffering too badly later.

**(Plus he reasons he can always have less later if it comes to it. He doesn’t need much anyway.)  
**

He grabs a bottle and offers it but Alicia just-she doesn’t respond.

Not a blink. Not a twitch. Nothing.

‘Alicia,’ he calls softly. He doesn’t want to startle her in case she somehow just didn’t notice him. But still nothing.

He calls her name again. Then again. Louder and louder and still Alicia just doesn’t…

Fucking…

Move.

Alive. Awake. But not there.

Strand is out of his seat and around the truck in a breath. Pulling open the door, leaning over her and tilting her chin up. Patting her cheeks with gentle hands. Anything to try and get her attention.

He’s never been one for missing what has been lost, no point in looking back, but what he wouldn’t give to have a functioning cell phone in that moment.

He opens the glove compartment searching for anything useful. He finds a penlight and with careful hands checks her pupils.  All while Tomas’ final moments run through Strands head and he just chants to himself that this isn’t that, this isn’t that. Not Alica.

Not Alicia.

 _Not Alicia_.

Madison is formidable, Daniel was respectable, Ofelia is admirable. But Alicia. There’s something pure about her. Something raw. Something earnest and honest and precious and for the first time since Tomas’, Strand is afraid.

Finally, _finally_ , as he’s about to get in the drivers seat and go find the others, gas supply be damned, finally Alicia blinks.

She blinks and she looks over, brows furrowing as if to say ‘when did you get here?’

As if he hadn’t been losing his mind. As if he hadn’t been checking her vitals for the last twenty minutes to make sure she wasn’t turning.

**(It’s not Tomas, it’s not that. Not Alicia. Not Alicia. _Not Alicia_ )**

He’s still hoping it’s the heat so he tries coaxing her to drink some water. He holds the water bottle to her lips. Tries being gentle as he pours her some.

It dribbles out the side of her mouth.

**(His heart is in his throat and an anvil is on his chest because this isn’t that, this isn’t that. Not Alicia. Not Alicia.)**

She’s still lying down so Strand tries to get an arm under her, to coax her into a sitting position to make drinking easier. Alicia lets out a strangled cry. She jerks away from him as if she’s been burned and Strand’s-

It’s so sudden and unexpected Strand almost falls out of the doorway.

Alicia had been near comatose, but now she sits jaw clenched, gritting her teeth.  She hadn’t meant to do that. Hadn’t meant to have such an extreme reaction for such a minor inconvenience. Because she’s fine. She just needs rest, it’s nothing, she’s _fine_ -

_(But her eyes are leaking with tears she didn’t agree too and her side is burning and nothing has been fine for a long, long time.)_

Strand is gentle as he sets the water in the cup holder. Moving slowly so

Alicia can see every move he’s making. His hands hover over her shirt and it’s with a quiet, soothing voice that he asks her if he can touch her side.

**(Because they’ve been traveling together, and it’s the end of the world, but they aren’t family)**

_(He doesn’t know he’s the closest thing to family she has.)_

There’s part of her that doesn’t want him to see. Doesn’t want him to know. Doesn’t want to be a burden. But-

She nods.

Strand wants to be specific. He has an idea, a thought, but he needs to know for sure.  He starts at her waist and pats his way up her side in soft, gentle pats and making soothing sounds and whispers when he feels her trembling.

_(Not out of pain, but out of embarrassment.  Out of the need not to be a burden.)_

He pats in a pattern. Patting the top of her stomach, side, and then back as softly as he can before moving up another inch.

Until he finds it.

Under the shoulder blade, in the space between her side and her back. Alicia can’t help it. She had tried to prepare, tried to brace herself as he got closer, but nothing could prepare her for heat and fire.

Her whole body jerks. She whimpers.

And where Strand had felt strong skin coming up, there’s a squish.

Wet. Hot. Giving where it should not.

He cradles her, urging her to her side as gently as he can as he sets the seat as flat as it can go. He shrugs off his jacket and puts it under her head as he tries to soothe her, rubbing her arm as she just shakes.

 _(She’s so weak, she’s so weak, she’s so FUCKING weak. Can’t even handle a scratch._ )

( _The voice in her head sounding suspiciously like her mother’s._ )

He asks her if he can lift her shirt. He needs to see, needs to know how bad it is before he can help. He tells her they can wait until her mom gets back so her family is there.

( **He’s not family** )

( _He doesn’t know he is_ )

She tries to respond but she can’t. Strand sees her struggling, sees an emotion he can’t place in her eyes. He takes her hands, tells her one squeeze for yes and two for no, and asks again.

‘Can I check?’

He’s patient as he waits. His face is calm and reassuring even as his insides are gripped in fear. He waits and waits until finally a weak squeeze is given. He waits for another but it never comes.

_(He’s family, he’s family.)_

Now he’s the one hesitating. Afraid of what he is going to find, being reminded of another in a soft bed of a ranch home that is so fare gone.

**(This is not that, this is not that. Not Alicia, not Alicia.)**

**(But in this world nothing is certain and that’s what terrifies him.)**

He wants to cry when it’s not a bite, because this isn’t that. It really isn’t that. But that relief, that anvil in his chest is gone for a moment before it crashes into him harder than before.

It’s not a bite, it isn’t rotting, but it is so infected. Accelerated from the heat, the dust, the sweat. Seeping puss and blood without him having to touch it where whatever wet scab had been pulled away with the shirt. The area around it inflamed as if she HAD been burned. And the smell. That sickly almost sweet smell that they have all become familiar with.

Strand is the one trembling now. How long ago had this happened? How had _nobody_ noticed sooner?

**(How close had they come to waking up one morning to find that Alicia was no longer there?)**

It slips out before he can stop it. ‘Oh honey…’

He finds a rag and soaks it in water before placing it on her forehead.

**(He does not need water. He does not need it.)**

Squeezes her hand before moving away from the truck and finding enough dry, dead plant matter for a very small, but very HOT fire.

He finds her knife, the knife she’s had since they got away from those FUCKING pirates.

**(The knife he’s been showing her tricks on when Madison isn’t looking, too busy worrying about that boy.)**

He waits. Goes back and forth between checking on Alicia in the truck and the fire. Luckily it’s a small knife, and a hot fucking fire. It doesn’t take long sitting in the heart of it before the blade is white hot.

Strand finds a pair of thick gloves, grabs the knife, and goes back to Alicia who still hasn’t moved. He can’t stop saying sorry as he puts an arm over her shoulder and grips her hand, holding her down so she can’t move.

**(Sorry that this is going to hurt, sorry for not seeing sooner, sorry for listening to Maddie, sorry sorry SORRY.)**

He presses the knife against the wound and the smell of burning flesh and blood and puss fills the interior of the truck. Alicia doesn’t even flinch.

WHY doesn’t Alicia make a noise?

She had trembled when he grazed her, whimpered when he pressed as light as he could. He’s holding a piece of white hot metal to the wound and there is _nothing_.

She’s crying, yes, but her face is lax.

_(Too gone. Too Tired. Too curled away into her own head at the relief of having something cool to soothe the fire on her side. But how could she ever tell him that? How can she tell him he doesn’t have to be sorry, that he didn’t do anything? That it’s not his fault she is so WEAK.)_

She had known. Of course she had known. She knew and knew and knew. The knife sliding out of her pocket. The flick of the lighter. The crackle of the fire. She knew, and she was scared, yes. But also hopeful. Quiet and wishing in her own head.

Not paying attention to the fact that this is the safest she’s felt since the boat. In the middle of the apocalypse, the end of the god-damned world, and a piece of hot metal burning into her side is the safest she has felt in MONTHS.

It gets to be too much. Her body can’t keep fighting this, and she’s tired. She’s just so…

Tired…

When the darkness starts pressing into her vision she does nothing to stop it. And when she goes limp in Strands arms, and the tears stop leaking from her eyes, Strand can finally breathe.

He bandages the wound, cleaning it with alcohol. Puts out the flames and goes back to the drivers seat. A peek through the binoculars shows nothing on the horizon. It’s been less than an hour.

The cab is filled with the sound of even breathing from the sleeping girl beside him. Strand continues to watch the horizon for any signs of trouble, counting the seconds between each inhale and exhale. Over and over because bites are not the only way to turn. Not the only way to die.

**(It’s not like that, it’s not like that.)**

**(Not Alicia.)**

**(Not Alicia.)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ofelia finds out, followed by Madison.

Ofelia is the next to notice. **  
**

She knows something isn’t right. She’s known for a while, started questioning things around the same time Strand did but she kept it to herself.

(Nobody listens to her, anyway.)

But she watches, and she sees. Watches as Alicia becomes quieter, becomes more withdrawn within herself. She waits for Maddie to notice something is wrong.

The supply run had been a bust. A few cans of beans, some potted meat that hadn’t been soiled from the heat, but no water. Strand had been keeping watch from the front seat while Alicia slept in the passenger’s side. She hadn’t woken for dinner, or when they headed out, OR when they set up camp for the night.

Ofelia had sat next to Maddie in the backseat, listening to her rage on loudly about how lazy her daughter is. Sleeping the day away without a care in the world while her _brother_  is _alone_ out there.  Moving on to how selfish Alicia is when Maddie sees a nearly empty water bottle sitting next to her in the cup holder. 

Lazy, selfish, inconsiderate Alicia.

Strand had tensed at the mention of the water bottle. Maddie had been too caught up in what she was saying, but Ofelia saw the way he clenched his jaw, how his grip on the steering wheel tightened so that the leather groaned in protest. It was strange to see a man normally so collected react so strongly to something that had nothing to do with him.

Or did it?

She watches him over the next few days and notices a shift in his behavior towards Alicia that hadn’t been there before. How he would hover around her, always on the edge of reaching out only to move away as soon as Maddie came into the area. Or how his eyes would linger, following Alicia as she moved around the camp in a poor attempt to be discreet.  

(Because he can’t count the exhales and check that she’s still breathing, can’t check the fever he knows she has because of a mother who chooses the wrong questions to ask and the wrong moments to care)

(Because Strand isn’t family)

Ofelia corners him one night after they’ve found a safe place to set up camp. Maddie is off for ‘firewood’ (for any sign of her boy), Alicia is asleep in the backseat of the truck and Strand is _lingering_.

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’

He stares at her, wide-eyed and speechless for the first time she’s known him. She’s caught him off guard. He looks guilty, another first, and Ofelia has had enough. She drags him away from the truck, far enough to not wake Alicia but close enough to keep an eye out, and she demands to know what’s going on.

(Ofelia knows it’s not like that, that Strand doesn’t see ‘licia like _that_  but she’s  angry and worried and by god if there is one thing this apocalypse has taught her it’s how to kill someone and make it look like an accident.)

Strand hesitates but he can’t do this alone. Not with Madison being oblivious, not when he needs to find the medicine that Alicia needs but is afraid to leave her alone. Not when this is their fault. Strand needs help, so he tells Ofelia everything.  Tells her exactly how close they had come to losing their youngest member. 

Almost a week later they’re still in a relatively flat area, able to see anything coming from miles away. Strand is on watch tonight, Maddie having gone to bed hours ago after kicking Alicia out of the backseat of the truck.

‘You can’t just hog it, Alicia, you need to start thinking of other people. You get the back tonight.’

Strand wanted to argue but Alicia is so tired and still so weak. She moved her blanket and jacket to the bed of the truck without a word, dejected and defeated, and Strand’s heart ached. Ofelia sees the look in his eye, sees the rage, and puts a hand on his arm to stop him from saying anything.

(She thinks of her father, of how he tied a man to a chair and cut a layer at a time looking for answers and, yeah, she gets it now.)

They stay up for a while talking after Maddie goes to bed, trying to figure out what they’re going to do. Alicia has been asleep for hours, curled up under her blanket in the bed of the truck. They glance back occasionally to see how she’s doing but she just…she never moves.

(Ofelia gets up once to check her breathing, and when she nods both their chests feel a bit lighter)

Ofelia tells Strand how Maddie told her this was a silent treatment for not letting Alicia go on the last run. Tells him how she watched Maddie tell Alicia that she needed to grow up and Strand can’t help but wonder how this woman doesn’t know. How she can’t see what is right in front of her.  

(Ofelia doesn’t wonder. Maddie is still too focused, still too fixated, still too obsessed with chasing after the child that left her.)

They think about just telling Maddie outright and almost immediately dismiss the idea. Alicia hasn’t said more than a few sentences in over a week, no attitude or no snark. She’s a shell of who she was and yet they know if she knew that Maddie would somehow find a way to blame Alicia for what’s happened.

_‘Why weren’t you more careful? Why didn’t you tell someone before? What do you mean you don’t know how it happened, why weren’t you paying attention? What if you had turned? What if I’d lost you both? Why can’t you think of anyone but yourself?’_

_(‘Why are you so selfish? Why can’t you suck it up? Why are you so WEAK?’)_

_‘Why didn’t you tell me?’_

It’s best not to tell Maddie.

Alicia needs to heal. She needs time, and patience, and peace, and a support system that won’t guilt her for things out of her control. Strand and Ofelia will watch out for her. They have her.

(Ofelia’s been running interference for the last week, and she talks to Strand about how it’s too easy. About how Maddie’s promise to Daniel means more than making sure her own child is okay)

(As if somehow keeping that promise will make up for the fact she couldn’t keep the one she made to herself, to keep Nick safe)

Strand knows Alicia has seen the interactions, has seen the care and attention and comfort that Maddie so freely offers Ofelia that she herself is denied. There’s no anger, or sadness, or even acceptance.

(Because why would she need to accept something that has always been her truth? Why would she be mad when this is her normal?  Because in what world would Alicia not come last?)

Strand understands what Alicia sees, understands what she must believe to be true and the anvil on his chest settles in deeper.

Because Alicia is valued. Alicia is precious. Alicia is special and cherished and loved. In his world, Ofelia’s world, in the world Alicia cannot see because she cannot think it possible she matters so much more than she could ever know.

(Because how could they ever say they can’t imagine their lives without her?)

(Because they aren’t family)

(Because Strand and Ofelia don’t know they are)

Ofelia goes to bed not long after that. She makes her way to the front seat, pausing to check on Alicia one last time. She looks so small lying in the bed of the truck, curled up under the blankets and using Ofelia’s jacket for a pillow.

Ofelia remembers her own parents. Remembering how no matter what happened or how mad they got Ofelia never once doubted their love and support for her.

As Ofelia lies down in the front seat, heart heavy from missing her parents and aching with hurt and love for this girl she has only known for a short while, Ofelia wonders if Alicia could say she has ever felt the same.

Strand walks in circles around the truck, lost in his own thoughts. He watches the stars come out and thinks about another time, with another man.

(Alicia is not him, this is not that, but sometimes he can see her giving up. Giving in to the knowledge that she doesn’t matter.)

(But she matters so much more.)

It’s after midnight when the whimpers start.

Strand is by the front of the truck when he hears the first, barely louder than the wind. He looks around. Maybe they’ve gotten lucky, a fox in the area.

(He tries not to hope for the meat they could have, the meat they need)

But it’s not a fox. And they’re not lucky.

It’s been a week. Alicia still has a fever but it’s been going down. Strand hasn’t gotten a chance to check the wound again because as oblivious as she is about the things that matter, Maddie watches Alicia like a hawk.

(She’ll say it’s for Alicia’s protection but Strand wonders if she isn’t just waiting for another reason to yell)

He’s left clean bandages in her things when possible. Left her with extra water whenever possible, even more when Ofelia begins putting in from her ration as well.

(They don’t need much. They aren’t the ones burning up from the inside. They aren’t the ones fighting with a body that so desperately wants to just shut down already. They don’t need much. Not like she does.)

Strand has done his best to kept an eye on her since that day but they haven’t spoken. Because of Maddie. Because of Alicia.

(She’s so tired, all the time, and so embarrassed. Such a burden. Weak, weak, _weak_ )

They’ve done their best but when was the last time it was checked? When was the last time it was cleaned?

It’s the thud that gets his attention. Something he can’t just brush aside as being the wind. He stands still, tracing the landscape with his eyes waiting to see if the noise comes again. It does. He draws his gun and creeps towards the truck, waiting to see what danger there is now.  He moves slowly, carefully until he hears he whimper, the groan, too pained and weak to belong to anything dead.

His heart freezes and he knows.

Alicia.

He runs. He slips in the loose dirt. Shoves himself back up.  He gets to the back of the truck and Alicia-

Alicia is not still.

She’s hot and sweating and jerking almost violently. Her head is off the jacket, thumping against the truck bed as she jerks again.

Strand doesn’t hesitate. He leaps into the truck bed, cradling her head in his lap. He feels her forehead and it’s damp from sweat. She’s burning up.

Alicia’s lips tremble with tremors and her eyes dart frantically beneath their lids. Strand runs his hands over her cheeks, her forehead, trying to wake her up. Trying to get her out of her nightmare but nothing works. He keeps her cradled in her lap and tries moving her to her side as best he can. He needs to check. He needs to see. He needs to know.

He finally manages to turn her. She’s whimpering, tears leaking out of her closed eyes. Strand pats her hair trying to soothe her the best he can as he reaches to pull her shirt up.

Of course, this is when Maddie comes around the back to see what’s happening. She see’s Alicia flailing as Strand pulls her shirt and she sees red.

‘Get off of her!’

She grabs his shirt and yanks him off Alicia, throwing him out of the truck. Alicia’s head smacks the truck bed with a harsh smack as she drops, her shaking and jerking steadily getting worse.

But Maddie doesn’t see it. She’s on top of Strand, hitting and raging at him as only a mother could. The moment she decides to ‘be a mother’ to Alicia and she still focuses on the wrong person.

‘She is a child! A child! How could you-‘

The commotion wakes Ofelia.  She hears the shouting and the sound of punches being flesh-hitting flesh. She stumbles out of the truck, convinced they’re being attacked, but stops in confusion when it’s Maddie on top of a bloodied Strand. She moves to pull Maddie off of him when another she hears another sound from the bed of the truck. She turns and her heart nearly stops.

‘Strand!’

She’s in the truck and by Alicia in an instant. Trying desperately to get her on her side as jerking has turned to full body thrashing. Ofelia can see little more than the whites of Alicia’s eyes and the saliva dribbling out of her mouth.

‘She’s seizing!’

She’s loud and desperate and the reaction is nearly instantaneous.

One moment Maddie is wailing on the man who dared put his hands on her little girl, the next she is sprawled out in the dirt as Strand stumbles to the truck like a man possessed. She watches Strand tear the interior of the truck apart searching for something. Watches Ofelia cradle her youngest child’s head with gentle hands and gentler whispers as she calls Alicia’s name, trying to call calling her back to them with tears in her eyes.

Maddie sits in the dirt, watching these two people who are normally so calm and stoic losing their minds and finally, finally, begins to realize something might be happening with her youngest child.

She tries to get in there. As soon as the thought registers in her mind, as soon as she realizes that something is WRONG she’s by the truck trying to take control of the situation. Trying to get her away from Ofelia because damn it, Maddie is Alicia’s mother.

Ofelia _snarls_ at her, ‘Get the _fuck_ away from her.’

‘She is _my_ daughter-‘

‘When it’s convenient.’

Maddie looks like she’s been slapped. ‘Ofelia.’

Ofelia doesn’t have time for this, doesn’t have time to argue with a woman who has shown for weeks that she only cares for one child and it isn’t the one dying right in front of her.

‘You want to help? Then stay away.’

Maddie opens her mouth, not ready to let this go, but Alicia finally, finally, wakes up with a strangled and pained gasp.

‘Alicia!’

Ofelia strokes Alicia’s cheeks trying to ease her back into reality. She shifts so Alicia’s head can rest in her lap and Alicia leans into the movement, burrowing her face against Ofelia’s stomach and clinging to her as if the older girl is a lifeline. Ofelia clings back, petting her hair and whispering softly as she rocks Alicia to distract her from what’s happening.

Maddie watches from the foot of the truck completely dumbstruck as her daughter seeks comfort from this other woman when her mother is standing not three feet away.

Alicia doesn’t notice. She’s crying and sobbing and absolutely terrified because she has never felt pain like this before and she’s absolutely terrified at what it means now.

‘I don’t wanna turn, I don’t wanna turn! Please, make it stop. Just make it stop!’

‘Shhh, Alicia, you need to calm down. I won’t let you turn.’ Ofelia kisses her forehead. She’s burning up. ‘Strand, where are you!?’

‘Please, I’ll be good! I promise I’ll be good! Please, please, don’t let me turn.’

_‘I don’t wanna turn.’_


	3. Chapter 3

It’s Maddie’s fault Alicia got hurt.

They had been traveling for weeks with absolutely no sign of Nick and Maddie was reaching the end of her rope. She becomes crazed in her need to find her son, taking more and more extreme risks every time the group goes out for any kind of sign for where her he might be.

Strand tries to contain the crazy. They may not be confined to a boat any longer, but the truck is not much better and he is not dealing with this thank you very much. He likes the boy, truly, but not enough for a suicide mission.

Maddie won’t be dissuaded though. Always pushing for the next town, the next search.

‘This is the one,’ She says, ‘We’ll find something here. We’ll find him.’

‘And how can you be sure?’ Strand asks, letting his frustration leak through. ‘It’s been weeks, Maddie, the boy is gone. It’s time to move on.’

‘He’s not gone. I can feel him.’

Strand just shakes his head. There’s no point in arguing, no point in telling her that her ‘feelings’ have been wrong the last six towns when no signs or clues appeared saying where he went.

No one wants to go. No one believes there is a sign, or a clue, or anything waiting for them to say where Nick went. But then Maddie gives Alicia that _look_. The one full of judgment and expectation. And she can’t help it.

‘We should go.’

Her voice is quiet but the others hear her anyway. She stands a little taller under the sudden attention and doesn’t let her voice waver

‘I mean, this has to be it, right? We’ve checked everywhere else.’

She ignores the mild look of disbelief on Ofelia’s face, the shake of Strand’s head, and focuses on the pride she see’s in her mother’s eyes.

‘One more town.’

Maddie and Alicia are the ones that goes. Strand stays behind to do inventory on the supplies they have left and Ofelia stays to catch up on sleep before going on watch that night. It’s the first time Maddie and Alicia have been alone together in…

Well, Alicia isn’t sure how long, exactly. Before the apocalypse, maybe, or before Travis moved in. She doesn’t know and in the moment she doesn’t care. She just wants to enjoy the quiet moment with her mom before they’re back to fighting for their lives.

It doesn’t last long, of course. They’re entering the town that’s all but deserted and Alicia asks what they’re looking for. Maddie bristles.

‘You’ll know it when you see it.’

Of course. What a clear answer. How could Alicia have been so naive?

She bites her tongue and nods. It would do no good to get into an argument. Not here, not now, not when they’ve become the main dish for town population when they entered city limits.

She follows Maddie as she leads them through the town and looks for any supplies the group could use. She may not know what to look for to find her brother, but she knows what they need for survival.

But Maddie takes a wrong turn and they walk right into a hoard.

They freeze. The dead are standing there, swaying in the wind as they look at the world with glazed, unfocused.

Alicia looks to her mom, trying to ignore the way her heart is pounding in her chest. Catches Maddie’s eye as she gestures to back away slowly. They haven’t been noticed yet, they can still get away.

But one of them steps on broken glass and the crunch is defining. One Walker turns it’s head. And then another, and another. Snarls and shuffles fill the empty air as the hoard turns against them.

And they run.

Through the streets and side alleys, not bothering to keep quiet anymore. The sound of the Walkers behind them would have drawn more to them anyway. They just need to get away, and they need to do it now.

Alicia is following her mother when a walker stumbles out of a doorway and forces them to split up. They had agreed on a spot to meet if this had happened, somewhere to join back up before heading back to camp. As she sprints down alleys and side streets, fighting to put distance between her and the chomping mouths following her, Alicia can’t seem to remember where that is.  

She’s going over a fence when a Walker catches her leg. She kicks out, catching the Walker in the face and shaking it loose but losing her grip. She falls down the other side of the fence and lands on a shed with a molded roof, crashing through when it can’t hold her weight.

She’s lucky. There’s no walkers in the shed, and a solid pipe.

(Her knife is back at the truck, left in the glove box Maddie put it in.)

(‘You’ll be fine, Alicia, I’ll keep you safe’)

But Maddie is nowhere to be seen, so Alicia grabs the pipe and runs. There are less dead here. The fence she fell off of is holding back the ones that had been chasing her well enough to finally put the distance she needs between them.

She runs about three streets when she starts recognizing the area and remembers the diner Maddie had pointed out. Two lefts and three twice-dead walkers later she sees it, sees her mother moving around inside, and a weight is lifted off her chest.

Maddie is packing the bags when Alicia pushes the doors open, a renewed fire in her eyes. For a moment she thinks Maddie was about to come charging after her, come look for her with the same vigor that she has been searching for Nick with all of these weeks, and a warmth blooms in her chest.

She opens her mouth to let Maddie know that it’s okay, she’s fine, when Maddie turns to her and there’s anger.

‘What took you so long? I found it, I found his trail, we need to get back to the others now.’

No comment on the mess she has become. No comment on the debris sticks out of her hair and dirt clings to her every surface. Just a jacket thrown in her direction with instructions to wear, ‘It won’t fit in the bag, ‘leesh, and we might need it,’-

(Your brother might need it)

\- and just like that the warmth is gone. Alicia just nods, grabs a bag, and follows Maddie through the revolving doors back to the street.

(Because why would she be the one the world stops for? She is not the prodigal son or lost lover – after all, Maddie took on the pirates when Travis had been taken too)

(The forsaken daughter, last one thought of but the first one blamed.)

She doesn’t notice the gash in her side until they’ve gotten back to the truck and are on their way again.  Sitting in the bed of the truck with the bags on a bumpy road. Maddie driving, Strand in the front as Ofelia sleeps in the back. Hitting a particularly bad pothole sends her crashing against the wheel cover and she hisses as a white hot pain rockets up her side. She looks down, sees the blood on her shirt, and feels the dread settle in her stomach.

She’s almost afraid to look. She doesn’t know how it happened, doesn’t remember anything except running and growls and dead hands clawing at her legs. She doesn’t remember being bit or scratched, but so much had been happening…

‘Nononononono…’

She lifts her shirt slowly and stares at the cut on her side. The dread in her stomach lifts a bit. It’s not a bite, or a scratch, and she’s fine.

She puts her shirt back down, ignoring the low key disappointment of it not being a bite or a scratch, and stares at the landscape passing by.

(The forsaken daughter, last one thought of but first one blamed, who would really notice if she were gone?)

Weeks later she’s seizing in the back of the same truck as Ofelia holds her desperately.

Weeks later Strand is frantic as he climbs into the back of the truck, pin light finally found from where it had lodged under a fucking seat, and trembling as he lifts her shirt to check the wound again.

(Maddie trying to protest but stopped by the glare Ofelia throws her way)

(The wound isn’t open but it’s so bruised, so red, and so HOT. What if she’s septic?)

Weeks later Alicia is crying, sobbing, and clinging to Ofelia she really doesn’t want to turn after all.

She’s sorry she wasn’t more careful, she’s sorry about the shed, mom, she’s sorry she took so long. She’s sorry, sorry, SORRY-

‘I’ll be better. I promise I’ll be better, Mommy, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t let me turn, _please_ -‘

Strand and Ofelia hate Maddie. They’ve never really liked her, each for their own reasons, but now Alicia is here and she could be dying and somehow Maddie is connected and _Alicia_  is the one apologizing. Shouldering the blame and the burden, begging her mother for forgiveness while Maddie just _watches_ and Strand and Ofelia have never hated someone more in their entire lives.

Alicia is babbling about her brother when Ofelia remembers the pills. The pills Maddie has been keeping safe for Nick for when he is found, safe because he might need them, he might be _sick-_

Ofelia gives one to Alicia and it takes a little bit, but soon she’s her sobs calm down. She begins to settle, her breathing comes easier. A few minutes later she goes loose in their arms fast asleep and they can breathe again.

Ofelia cradles Alicia in her arms, afraid to move and aggravate the wound further. Strand helps her reposition into corner of the truck, maneuvering Alicia so her back rests against Ofelia’s front with Ofelia’s arms wrapped securely around her.

(Ofelia needing to feel her heartbeat, to give Alicia her body heat because they almost lost her and Ofelia will be damned if she lets it come that close again)

(Chanting in her head for Alicia to fight this, you can fight this, please, please, _please_ )

Strand settles the blanket over them, makes sure they’re comfortable and protected. And then he turns to Maddie.

He hasn’t been angry in a good long while but now? He’s absolutely furious. Barreling out of the truck, grabbing Maddie’s arm and just leading her away from the truck, away from Alicia, and he lays into her.

Strand liked Nick, he really did. Nick was a good kid even if he was a little lost at times. But Strand is so sick of Maddie caring infinitely more about the son who _left her_ than she does for the daughter that is _still there_.

The daughter she overlooks and takes for granted so much that Maddie didn’t even know she was dying.

Maddie is a horrible, absolute shit mother who doesn’t deserve a daughter as good and kind and caring as Alicia and he tells her to her face. Strand goes on and on and on until his voice is hoarse from yelling, because if Alicia dies and Maddie loses both of her kids, she needs to know it’s her own fucking fault.

‘Nick was not taken! He didn’t have a gun to his head! He _chose_ to leave, he _chose_ to go off by himself and that is because of _you_!’

Ofelia can hear the shouting from the car. Can hear Maddie’s own voice rising to match Strand’s before shuts it down. She roots for him, prays for something to finally get through to that _woman_. Alicia shifts with a groan and Ofelia coos, murmuring softly in her ear.

‘You’re okay. You’re not alone. I’m here, we’re here. We won’t let anything happen to you. We love you.’

Ofelia kisses her head and holds her closer.

‘You’re not alone.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clarify, this will probably never update this quickly again. It's extremely unusual for me to do it this quickly, but I had time today and this part wasn't as bad to reformat. 
> 
> For those of you who didn't know you can also follow me on tumblr for updates on this au, I generally post there before I update here. Same username, atonguetiedwriter.tumblr.com.

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing for this fandom. Originally the Hurt Alicia AU posted on my tumblr that started out as a headcannon shared with reshopgoufa. For more headcannons or questions related to this au feel free to ask at atonguetiedwriter.tumblr.com.


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